Humor » The Paw Print

Three steps to securing a passing AP exam grade… maybe

May 4, 2018 1:06pm | Tyler Carlson, '20

Are you , yes you, taking part in the great AP program? If yes, who hurt you as a child? Because something is very wrong, masochistic even. Who would subject themselves to such torture? It reminds me of the enhanced interrogation back in Guantanamo Bay, […]

Make your stalking and obsession a reality

April 4, 2018 7:56pm | Neziah Osayi, '20

Getting rejected sucks. Before you can get inducted into modern enslavement called a relationship, you have to first get the girl or guy. This first step might sound easy for the ladies but for the fellas, we’re basically being asked to put a pink collar […]

Be careful before you bite: Drugs in food on the rise

March 1, 2018 9:10pm | Darious Brown, ’18

OOOOOOOOOOH! Who lives in the pineapple under the sea? Cocaine-Drug-Lords! Powderly and white as it can be: Cocaine cocaine! If nautical nonsense be something you wish: FBI Agents! It’s found in some foods that don’t smell like fish: COCAINE SOMETHING! *Cue the end of SpongeBob’s […]

40 Confessions of a Student

March 1, 2018 2:16pm | Jovial Njinyi, '18

Being a student is tough, especially when you have so many rules to follow, so many things to do and with not enough time. There many things that we do that may not be right but sometimes that’s just a part of being a student; […]

10 special ways to surprise your valentine

February 16, 2018 1:44pm | Isabella Muehlinghaus, '20

Valentine’s Day may be over, but Valentine’s weekend is fast approaching! If you messed up on the big day, this weekend will serve as a change to redeem yourself. That being said, here are ten special ways to surprise your valentine this weekend! 1. Buy […]

Smartphone users BEWARE: Your phone can blow up–and no, not in Instagram likes

February 8, 2018 2:00pm | Wendy Pheth, '18

What’s the problem with having a phone?! I didn’t think there was anything wrong with it. Apparently I was wrong… For the past few years, there have been cases of phones catching on fire and exploding, NANI?! Yep, phones exploding. What’s next, Samuel L Jackson […]

Secrets To robbery – Even In This Down Economy

February 5, 2018 9:49pm | Neziah Osayi, '20

Sat·ire : ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/ – the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues. Since we’re all in high school, we start to realize that we’ve pretty […]

The Tide Pod Challenge shows why The Planet of the Apes might be inevitable

February 4, 2018 11:21pm | Neziah Osayi, '20

The ‘’Tide Pod Challenge’’ of 2018 has me begging for North Korea to finally put us out of our misery. Has the youth of American really come the conclusion that the best way to start this new year is to enjoy the ‘’sweet’’ taste of […]